Dear Unborn Child… Why don’t you love me??

I’m pretty sure my child doesn’t love me. Or it’s a vampire. Why do unborn children treat their mothers so badly? I honestly thought I couldn’t get more tired than I had been but this week brings a new exhaustion to the plate. And my nausea seems to be getting worse. My sweet little vampire child is sucking the life force from me. Seriously. Have you read Breaking Dawn?? I’m telling you. Vampire. Baby.

I still can’t stomach sweets. My prenatal vitamins were gummies and I loved them until a few weeks ago when they became vomitous. I haven’t had a cookie or a brownie or ice cream in weeks. I miss these things… I don’t actually WANT them… I just miss the idea of them. My child also doesn’t really like vegetables. I used to love broccoli. I don’t love it so much anymore. It seems like each day there is only one item at a time that sounds palatable. Today it was a hot dog. I wanted a hot dog all morning until I smelled someone at work’s stuffed pepper. Then I wanted that pepper. Or something that tasted like it smelled. The hot dog was no longer welcome. So lunch ended up as Mexican. Now all I really want is more Mexican. But, alas, Mexican is not what is available.

My new symptom, and this will probably be another case of too much information, is constipation. And if you’ve never been the unlucky recipient of this symptom, let me tell you how terrible it is. So I’m bloated all the time, I feel terrible, and I hate the taste of prune juice. Again, if you’ve never had it… It’s disgusting. It must be mixed with grape juice to be able to be drank at all.

So let us run down my list of symptoms: Nausea, exhaustion, constipation, indigestion, excessive peeing, cramps, ugly breakouts, sore boobs, and pregnancy brain. Oh yeah, and pre-hypertension. The only thing missing is vomiting. Which I’m not complaining about. Seriously. I’m ok without that one. Who are these women who have perfect happy pregnancies with no symptoms and still have energy to clean house and make dinner? Because one of them needs to come to my house.


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