8 Things that don’t all have to do with pregnancy. Just mostly.

1. I hate handwashing dishes. Hate hate hate. I also feel like handwashing them never gets them as clean as my dishwasher. I know lots of people handwash their dishes. I believe they are more proficient than I am and therefore should come handwash my dishes for me.

2. I don’t like the direction in which my belly button is heading. I liked my very innie belly button. I’m not looking forward to it being flat. Or an outie. I also wish someone had told me years ago what my belly button piercing would look like once my belly button stretched out. Not pretty. Don’t like it.

3. I plan to do a natural birth. I am a little nervous about this but no less nervous about having a needle shoved in my spine and a catheter shoved somewhere else. Neither one sounds wonderful. I do think it’s a little weird that this is a question random people ask you though. “So, are you planning to get an epidural?” This question generally comes right after “What are you having?” and “Have you picked a name yet?” Then, when you say you’re going drug-free they look at you pityingly and say “ok.” But what they are really thinking is “Oh, you poor delusional crazy pregnant person. I will try my best to not say ‘I told you so’ when you are writhing in pain screaming for the anesthesiologist to put you out of your misery.” Very heartening.

4. I am obsessed with my nails in their current state. I’ve never had long nails that didn’t peel and break off that weren’t put on by someone else. I look at them all the time. I’m constantly filing and trimming them to keep them neat and tidy. I will be sad when they go back to their pre-pregnancy state of peely and thin. I also wish my right hand looked as nice as my left hand.

5. After almost 8 years of working retail, I am amazed how people can still surprise me with their rude, ignorant, and often offensive behavior. I should not be surprised. Retail has taught me to dislike people (which is sad, I know) but for some reason I can still be taken aback by their ridiculous behavior and comments. A few days ago, a customer who I have known in the store for several years said to me “You’re only 26 weeks with as big as you are? Are they sure it’s not twins?” Ok, really. Who says that?? And it was a woman. I feel I handled it very well. I didn’t punch her in the face or call her names or burst into tears. I gave some random answer that hopefully accounted for my apparent ginormous body and then proceeded to cry several times later that afternoon. This is just one example of how stupid people can be. I have many more.

6. I love Bruegger’s Bagels jalapeno cream cheese. It’s delicious. Especially on a toasted jalapeno cheese bagel. *drools* I have been looking forward to breakfast tomorrow morning since yesterday. It’s that bad.

7. I don’t always “feel” pregnant. My belly is smaller in the mornings and when the baby isn’t kicking a lot I don’t truly feel pregnant all the time. This changes as evening approaches though and my energy level drops drastically and all of a sudden I FEEL pregnant. I notice that it’s harder for me to walk and not waddle, stand with good posture, and get up and down from sitting to standing. My lower back hurts at night and it’s like all energy has been drained from my body. Then I honestly don’t feel so pregnant as just wimpy.

8. My brain is like a sieve. It holds some pieces of information (name, where I live, where I work, how to drive) and lets everything else go through. I can’t remember where I’m going, what I’m going there for, where stuff is. I feel dumb. A lot. Pregnancy Brain is real. It should be studied. Heck, we probably wouldn’t even remember we were being studied. Or to show up for the study. Maybe that wouldn’t work.


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