NICU Day #24

Gavin was 4lbs 7.8oz last night and had gotten 14ml around noon while breastfeeding. We tried again last night but he only got 6ml before his nurse yanked him off me because his sats had dropped quite a bit and she wanted to check his color. I think his problem was that she wouldn’t leave us alone and kept cramming his face into my breast and I think he couldn’t breathe. I had done just fine that afternoon without suffocating my baby and I’m pretty sure I didn’t need her constant intrusion. If we have her again I will make this clear. I didn’t appreciate her overbearing attention or her manhandling my baby the way she did. She’s a nice lady and I’m sure she means well but she is pushy and her movements are too abrupt. I don’t like my little guy moved like that.

His “diaper rash” is not getting better. It looks terrible and it looks painful. Last night I asked to remove the wipes and use the plain wet cloths instead. She did also mention possibly letting his bottom air out for a bit last night as well.

I’m still struggling with pumping during the night as I cannot seem to wake up/get out of bed at my first alarm. At the beginning I was able to get up but now it seems like almost every other night I’m sleeping through an alarm and going 5-6 hours without pumping. At this point the longest I should be going through the night is 4 hours over one stretch and the rest 3. I’m just too tired and can’t seem to process that first alarm. Tonight I at least remember shutting off the alarm and apparently I laid back down for a “second” and woke up and hour and a half later. Pumping during the day is annoying and I don’t particularly enjoy it but I hate it at night. I’d rather just feed him.

So we’ll try the breastfeeding again today. Hopefully we’ll be able to make it up to the hospital around noon like we did yesterday. That worked out well and gave us more time with him. His reflux seems to be staying the same and he seems to be having a harder time during feeds and sometimes in between. His grunting and squirming has increased quite a bit over the past week. The doctor gave us some insight in this yesterday (a lot of it is his age and adjustment to new sensations) but we’ve also been holding him very upright during and right after his feedings which seems to help him be more comfortable. Holding him is no problem for any of us so we are all happy to oblige. My favorite time is still kangaroo’ing, which I make sure I do at least once a day, but it’s nice to be able to breastfeed and interact with him that way too. My little guy is coming along and should be able to start the process of coming home once he figures out this feeding thing. Pray that he’s a quick learner and everyone (myself and the staff) know when to increase his feedings and start him on a bottle. I don’t want to hold him back but I really want him to figure out breastfeeding before he gets a bottle. But I REALLY want him home.

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