Don’t press the snooze – You might get an eye-full.

I miss sleep. I haven’t had a great night’s sleep since before Baby G was born. In the last few weeks I was pregnant, not only did I wake up every 2-2½ hours to pee, I had also developed a snoring habit. Which kept ME awake. Husband’s snoring keeps me awake. Not him. It wasn’t fair I couldn’t even sleep through my own snoring. Then Baby G was born and it was pumping ever 3-5 hours at night. Then he came home and it was feeding him every 2-3 hours. Now that he has started to sleep a little longer I’ve been able to get anywhere from 4-5 hours at a stretch. Sometimes Husband wakes me up when he heads off to work and sometimes Baby G will wake me up and then go back to sleep before I can get to him. Last night none of those things happened. Last night Baby G slept NINE hours. That is the longest he’s ever slept! But no, not me. I only got to sleep 6½. Know why?

I have alarm clock boobs.

Yup, you read that right. My boobs woke me up. Milk production is a supply and demand situation. My body will make milk based on what Baby G eats. Normally during the day he eats every 2-2½ hours. If he goes too long, say he’s in the Moby for an extended period of time, the milk will build up causing discomfort. The more milk that is there, the less I’ll make. So it’s important to feed him pretty regularly during the day. He demands, I supply. At night things work a little differently. The hormones slow while I’m sleeping so that the milk comes in slower. But since Baby G doesn’t have a set routine at night yet, my body has to produce milk for the eventuality that he will wake up sooner than later. Nine hours between feeds is a lot when his average is 4-6. Hence the alarm clock boobs.

I did ignore the first alert. It wasn’t very loud yet so I woke up, acknowledged the alarm, and then went back to sleep. But an hour later the snooze went off and I could not ignore it again. To do so would have been detrimental to my health.

I’ll try to explain the feeling the best I can. For those of you without boobs it might be a little hard for you to really understand. Actually, for those who have boobs it might be hard to understand. Unless you’ve been there. Then you know my pain. Hmmm… how to describe it… Ok. Imagine there are two… boulders… on your chest. Hard and lumpy boulders. Which are so full of… water… that if you bump them they will spring a leak. And the boulders are painful. Like big hard bruises. They ache. Now try sleeping on those boulders. Or do pretty much anything else. Exactly. Soooo even though my sweet one was sleeping (and I wasn’t going to wake him, are you mad??) I got up and expressed enough milk so my boobs wouldn’t explode. We will discuss milk expression later. Or never.

Don’t worry. I kept the milk for a rainy day. We don’t waste the stuff. It’s liquid gold.

Then I went back to sleep. I managed to get another hour in before Baby G woke up. I ended up having to express a little more so that he could latch a little easier (super hard boobs = very little flexability = shallow latch and screaming nipples). Plus, when they are overfull they leak if you look at them funny. Don’t even think about touching them. You might end up with milk in your eye. Gavin’s had that more than once. But it’s sterile so it’s ok. Also I’ve heard it can clear eye infections.

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