I’m not ready

Dear Little One,
I’m not ready. I’m not ready for size 1 diapers. I’m not ready for 3 month pajamas. I’m not ready for you to sleep upstairs in your bed. I’m not ready to go back to work.

Everyday moves too quickly. The time I have with you is never enough. I’m trying to savor every moment but the moments seem to happen so fast.

I worry our bond will weaken once I go back to work. I worry that I will become less important to you. I worry I will miss too much. I worry I won’t be strong enough.

I’m not ready for size 1 diapers or 3 month clothes. Those things mean you are growing up. They mean that you are getting further and further away from being my tiny baby. I know you must grow. I know you must get bigger. And I know I must go back to work.

But I’m not ready.

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