I have a pet. His name is Peeves. He’s my pet, Peeves.

We all have those little things that annoy us. Things that, if we were on a date with someone, would be deal breakers. Things that we tolerate in family, but only because we have to. And because we can actually say something about it because, hey – we’re family! Pet peeves are really hard to deal with at work. Whether it is a co-worker or a customer, you can’t very well tell them to cease and desist whatever violently annoying thing they may be doing.

You can also not throw things at them or stab them with a pencil. Trust me. If it were allowed I’d have already done it. Well, maybe not the stabbing part but definitely the throwing part.

Sister had a problem with a guy at work who drummed on stuff. He wore headphones and felt the need to keep the beat for everyone else to hear utilizing items on his desk. This is unacceptable. You should be fired for things like this. I might have had to “accidentally” feed his iPod through the paper shredder. I’m passive-agressive like that.

Drumming is another form of tapping which is high on my annoyance list. Yes, I have a list. I will list them for you. In no particular order.

  1. Whistling. I hate it. HATE. I find it to be very very annoying and it makes me feel stabby. There is a person at work who whistles very loudly and shrilly and to the music in his own head that no one can hear. If you’ve ever made the lamaze breathing noises around a cat (the “hee hee” part) and seen their crazed reaction… well, that’s how I feel about whistling.
  2. Tapping. Drumming, clicking (like the end of a pen), etc. Makes me twitchy and also a little crazed. I have the urge to remove whatever the person is tapping, drumming, or clicking with and throw it across the room. I’m normally not so violent.
  3. Loud bass. I don’t generally like the music attached to loud bass. I don’t listen to it. I don’t want to listen to it secondhand either. I especially don’t want to just hear the “boom boom boom” and the very possible rattle of your crappy speaker installation that goes with it.
  4. “Supposubly.” Dear heavens there is no “B” in supposeDly. It’s a “D.” A D!
  5. Phone keyboard sounds.  Why do you need your text messages to sound like morse code? Or worse, a weird tapping. If you have a smartphone you don’t have a real keyboard. There’s no physical button. Why does it have to make noise?? If you have an old ancient phone, the keyboard makes enough noise on it’s own.
  6. Wearing sunglasses inside. It’s rude, ok?? It’s just rude.
  7. Scuffing feet. Ugh… pick up your FEET!! I have known overweight people who managed to pick up their feet when they walked.   So there is no excuse. Pick. Up. Your. Feet. And if you can’t pick up your feet because you’re wearing crocs, well then you should just be ashamed of yourself.
  8. Smacking. Whhhyyyyyyy??
  9. Um. I had a manager who said “Um” approximately 412 times in any give oration. Once I actually counted. I believe he said it 62 times in 6 minutes. That is not an exaggeration. At that point all you can hear from the person is “Um ummm ummy umumum. Um um umm um-um-um.” Anything pertinent they have to say (he basically never did) loses all meaning.

That’s all I have for now. I’m sure there are more. It’s not that I’m intolerant… Ok, I’m slightly intolerant. I just hate twitchy noises. And incorrectly pronounced words. And whistling. I really hate whistling.

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