Do you ever get the feeling that you can’t do anything right? That no matter what you do, try, say, think, or how you act it’s never right? And then you start to wonder if its really you and you’re just a screw-up? And then you can’t shake it? Can’t get over it?
Please say yes. Please don’t let me be alone. Don’t let me be the only one who beats themselves up because they’ve once again gotten singled out for something they didn’t know was wrong. Or that was any different than what anyone else was doing.
So inevitably I start to wonder. Am I really as bad as they seem to think I am? Do I deserve their disdain? Am I kidding myself by thinking I’m superior to how they see me?
I have a hard time with authority figures that don’t know how to be professional but expect a certain level of professionalism and decorum out of me. Or ones who live by the “Do as I say and not as I do or allow others to do” mantra. How do you run a successful business that way?
How do I always get stuck working for those people who are impossibly hard to get along with? And why do I often seem to have a target on my back?
So I’m back to the question: Is it me or them? Am I truly the problem or are they taking their frustrations out on me because I made things difficult for them? Because I’d hate to think I’m so off in my estimation of myself. But it’s hard to think positively about what you do when people are so willing to break you down for it.
The moral of this lesson is that I’d much rather be a stay at home mom. Because I know that’s a job I could totally rock. And I’d love my boss. Plus I’m pretty sure I’d get employee of the month every month. And I could wear pajamas all day.