You know you’re a mom when…

You lay down to go to sleep and reach under your pillow and find tiny construction equipment.

You don’t blink an eye when your toddler doesn’t aim right and pees on your jeans. And you’re out shopping.

You get home from the park with your kids and find wood chips in your bra.

You don’t think twice before picking up the piece of leftover breakfast waffle your baby left on the floor and popping it into your mouth. Then you stop and think, “Why did I do that??”

You empty out your purse to find: one pacifier, a plastic fork, 12 packages of Smarties, a half eaten lollipop (thankfully the push up kind with a lid), a Matchbox car, a pair of kid sunglasses, a sock, one shoe… But not your wallet. 

You know where the bathroom is in every store you’ve ever been in with your kid. 

More than once you’ve wiped your kid’s snotty nose with your fingers and wiped it on your pants. Which brings us to…

Something you’re wearing always has snot on it.