So much has happened since we last spoke. We bought a truck. We went to FL. I ate two caramel apples. We went to Disney World. I sewed stuff. I got a nanny. We moved her into a bedroom upstairs. I was introduced to two fun new board games. I flashed several people at Downtown Disney. And I doggedly refused to think about the fact that I would have to go back to work soon.

Two weeks ago we set out at midnight to drive down to FL to see my family and bring my little sister back to live with us to be Baby G’s nanny. We drove through the night while G slept and only had to make one baby related stop. We made good time down to Gainesville and were relieved that Baby G’s first road trip was pretty uneventful (with the exception of the fact that I didn’t sleep AT ALL on the drive and spent the rest of the day in a sleep deprivation stupor).

The car ride home, on the other hand, was just as heinous as you would expect a 600+ mile car ride with a 5 month old to be. The trip should have taken between 9½ – 10 hours. It took us 12½. Between stopping to nurse every two hours to several stints of blood curdling screaming, I don’t think I’ll be doing such a trip again any time soon. It was horrible for everyone involved.

But the space in between the car rides though was wonderful. The other members of my family finally got to meet Baby G and I got to see my Grandfather for what probably will be the last time. God blessed us with a “good day” of his where he was mostly alert and interested in us being there. He seemed very interested in Baby G and my 2½ year old nephew (who is a total card).

So speaking of my nephew. He is 2½ and crazy smart. And very very loquacious. He comes up with the funniest things. Most of them are real words. Some of them are not. Like burr-yup. My brother and SIL have no clue where he came up with this word but he came into the house saying it one night. It is most effectively pronounced by putting your lips together in an exaggerated “b” and flipping your lips out as you say the “burr” part. And the “yup” is actually a mix between a “yip” and a “yup.” Maybe you had to be there. Maybe you’re just saying it wrong. Anyway, it was pretty funny.

Another thing about my family, as I’ve mentioned before, is that we’re all slightly insane. But in a good way. We like to play games; one of our favorites being Apples to Apples. If you’ve never played it you are severely deprived and should immediately go out and buy it. It’s so much fun. Introduced to us this visit were two new games: Castle Panic and Ticket to Ride. Both are non-traditional games and both a lot of fun. Ticket to Ride is a game of trains which gets a little hairy the more people that play. Castle Panic is a cooperative game in which everyone plays together to try to beat the game (and the monsters that are trying to knock down your towers). Both were lots of fun. But Apples to Apples results in the most hilarity; often rendering us to tears after laughing so hard. But games aside, we can still generally find stuff to cut up about.

We also went to Disney. Disney with a 5-month old, you say?? Yup, we took Baby G to meet Mickey. I have some friends from college that live in Orlando who had offered to take us to Disney for the day. G rode the Carousel, Dumbo (which he slept through), and Pirates of the Carribean (which he nursed through). He got his picture taken with Mickey and Tigger and Pooh. He even got his very own “1st Visit” button. All in all he did very well. Will he remember it? Of course not. Did he care one way or another? Not a bit. But I had a good time visiting with friends and he will have some fun pictures to look back on. Oh, and did you know that all the parks have Baby Care centers? Well, I didn’t either. The one in MK was really nice – a room just for nursing mothers, a room for the rest of the family with a TV (playing Disney movies of course), a room full of massive soft vinyl changing tables and a little shop where you could get a drink of water (free) or purchase any number of baby related accouterments.  I’m sure a pack of wipes ran about $17 but hey, they made the effort.

I know you’re curious about the caramel apples. I know it’s been burned into your subconscious and the whole time you’ve been reading you’ve been wondering about them. Well, I’ll indulge you. We went to Downtown Disney for my brother’s graduation lunch. Graduation was in Tampa. Lunch was in Orlando. That’s just the way we roll. So because I can’t have ice cream (there is a delicious Ghirardelli ice cream shoppe there) I decided I was going to get a caramel apple. A custom, made-while-you-wait, caramel apple. It. Was. Delicious. A lovely apple coated in caramel, dipped in dark chocolate, smothered in chopped pecans, and drizzled with a little more dark chocolate. *drools* Sooo good. So when we went back to DD a few days later I got another one. What? I needed a dessert too! Everyone else was eating ice cream. It wasn’t fair…

Oh wait… it wasn’t the caramel apple you were wondering about? It was the flashing part? Oh, silly me. I figured you just read right over that. Well that was at DD too. At lunch. I was nursing Baby G in the very crowded restaurant and felt something wet on my leg. I look down to see that Baby G had had a blowout. *sigh* Why, dear friends, does this have to happen when one is out in public? So I unlatch him and cover myself up. And then move the nursing cover. Only to realize that I haven’t actually covered myself up all the way. *facepalm* Not sure all who I flashed. Could have been all girls. Could have been some boys. That know me. Ugh. Just call me the Flash.

Sooo now we are home and the Nanny-Auntie is moved in and mostly unpacked. The suitcases are still sitting in the middle of the living room floor and the laundry that got washed when we got home (several days ago) is mostly folded and put away. I miss my family already and hope hope hope they will all be able to make it here for Christmas. I think it would be so fun to have the two boys together. Since Nephew is a pro at Christmas now he will be able to help Baby G get the hang of it. And I bought them matchy pajamas. It would be such a shame to waste them.

4 More Days

I only have 4 more days with my baby before everything changes. Before we head to FL to see my family and pick up my little sister. Before we spend some time getting her used to caring for Baby G. Before I go back to work.

I know that I have 4 weeks left. I know that. But only 4 days of that are just mine. I don’t have to share him, or leave him, or let him go.

I’m scared. I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can get in my car that morning and drive away from him. I know I sound dramatic. I know women everywhere have to work and leave their sweet babies with someone else. I know they survive. But this is my first baby. I’ve been with him every day for almost 5 months.

Why does it feel so bad? He’ll still be my baby. He’ll still be there when I get home. But I’ll miss out on so much. Will I be there for his first word? When he starts to crawl? His first step? I’m going to miss him so much everyday.

So these 4 day I’m going to hold him a little longer and play with him a little more. I still have to pack and do some cleaning before we leave, but if I have to wait until he’s in bed at night to do that then I will. Because I don’t want to regret anything. I don’t want to regret not picking him up. And I don’t want to regret folding that extra load of laundry. And I know I’m still going to have time with him. I know that after my 4 days I’ll still have over 3 weeks left. But it doesn’t feel that way. Right now it feels like these 4 days are the only thing I have left.