It’s a pinto bean!

My first OB appointment was 2 days ago. I was very nervous for the whole thing. I’m not really sure why. My sweet husband took off early from work to go with me so he could see the first ultrasound.

The first part of the appointment was talking with a nurse. She asked all sorts of questions about my family history (are your parents/grandparents living, history of heart disease/cancer, anyone locked in your parent’s basement) and my history (have you ever done crack cocaine, were you ever a prostitute, do you have asthma). Pretty typical stuff. They didn’t ask much about my husband’s family which I thought was a little odd. I mean, what if there is someone locked in HIS parent’s basement? Does crazy only run through the mom’s side?

The second part of the appointment was the ultrasound part. Now, if you are unfamiliar with pregnancy then you might not know that those nice ultrasounds you see on TV don’t come into play until a little later in the pregnancy. At this stage, the only way to see the baby is an intravaginal ultrasound. Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. It’s an internal ultrasound. Now, I will say this for sex-ed. They apparently don’t want to prevent young people from having sex all that badly. Because if they did, they would make sure to inform these children that pregnancy is a very popular end result of sex. And pregnancy is not all pretty bellies and happy babies. No, dear children, pregnancy is a camera inserted where no camera should be inserted. Pregnancy is 24-hour-constant nausea. Pregnancy is constipation, peeing on yourself in the third trimester, and pooping on the table when you are pushing for delivery. Oh yeah, and it’s a catheter if you choose an epidural. And tearing. In an area that should never tear.

But I digress. So anyway. After my husband got over the shock of exactly how the pictures of our baby would be taken, we got to see our little pinto bean. That’s really all it looked like. A little bean with a little beating heart. The doctor said it was too early to hear it but showed us the little fluttering spot on the bean that is our baby’s heart. He measured the bean and put my due date at 4/22/12. This is 10 days later than I originally estimated. Which, I can honestly say, upset me quite a bit. 10 days isn’t a whole lot of time when you are 26 weeks, but when you are only in your 7th week, 10 days is a long time. Specifically, a week and 3 days. Just in case you weren’t sure. So now, when I thought I would be 8 weeks tomorrow, I won’t actually even be 7 weeks until Sunday.

The good news is that both of our families know now so I can actually call my mom without feeling like I’m going to blurt out something about pregnancy/babies/etc. It was super hard to call her on her birthday and not tell her. I know my husband has had the same difficulty when talking to his parents.

So as I’m getting ready to finish up my 7th week (being 7 weeks means I will have completed my 7th week) I have a new prescription for blood pressure (as the Dr. was concerned that my slightly elevated blood pressure would become a problem) and for nausea (while it doesn’t remove it completely it makes me feel less like dying), and I’m still so tired I could sleep all day long and probably still be tired. I actually thought food tasted good today so that’s a plus as well. My child still has zero interest in anything sweet. I can barely stand yogurt. A plate of cookies on TV actually made my stomach lurch. Now if it would only start craving vegetables. One can dream.

I’m gestating a vampire.

I blame my husband. I’m pretty sure I do not have the vampire gene. So therefore it must be from his side.

So my baby is sure to be a vampire. It does not like mornings. It loves to sleep. It prefers savory and salty things over sweet ones. In fact, sweet things generally make it mad. It’s little vampire self uses up all my energy and very often keeps me icy cold.

So. Vampire baby.

Pregnancy Symptom #2: Morning sickness isn’t just for mornings anymore!

So I don’t have classic morning sickness (i.e. nausea, vomiting… in the morning), but in addition to the extreme exhaustion, I feel randomly terrible. Sometimes I wake up and feel sick, sometimes I eat and feel sick, and sometimes I just feel sick. I can eat the same thing two days in a row and one of those times I will feel terrible afterwards and the other time will feel fine. I haven’t thrown up yet (*knocks on wood*), but I’ve felt like it a few times. With the non-morning sickness I also get dizzy really easily and sometimes queasy at smells. I feel simultaneously hungry and nauseous. Nothing really sounds particularly terrible but nothing also sounds particularly wonderful.

So, today I’ve had the worst nausea ALL DAY. I’ve eaten because supposedly that is better than not eating. I feel miserable. I feel like I’ve been on the verge of throwing up most of the day. My sweet sweet husband left the house at 8pm to go find me Diet Ginger Ale and Emetrol to hopefully help. I haven’t told anyone at work (1, because our families don’t know yet and 2, it’s none of their business) so I can’t run around wearing seasickness bands because I’m pretty sure that would be noticeable. So we’ll try ginger ale and Emetrol and hope that helps.

Pregnancy Symptom #1: I’m building a baby, what did YOU do today?

I’M SO TIRED. I’m tired all the time. Every second of every day. Whether I sleep 4 hours or 12 (that is not an exaggeration), I’m always tired. It actually goes past being tired. I’m exhausted. On my days off I honestly have barely enough energy to shower and plop myself on the couch.

Today was a perfect example. I was in bed last night by 11pm at the absolute latest. And that is actually a late night for me recently. I got out of bed around 10:15am. I could have probably slept until noon. I basically spent all day on the couch. It didn’t help that my allergies were acting up and my nose was running and my head was stuffy. That just made things worse. So I pretty much watched TV and played on the computer all day with Holly, my old lady cat, cuddled up next to me. It was pitiful. Me, not her. She was cute.

The day wasn’t a total bust though. I managed to unload the dishwasher and make myself dinner. Yay for me. I’ve read that it gets better after the first trimester. Which means I have 5 weeks and 2 days of being exhausted to go.

Little Sweet Pea

Dear Tiny Baby in my Belly,

I have known about you for a little more than a week but you are already loved. I worry constantly that something will go wrong and I will lose you. It doesn’t matter if you are only the size of a pea (and might possibly have a tail); you are still my baby and I’m praying for you to grow big (not TOO big, mind you – let’s be reasonable) and strong so that I may meet you in April. I know that even though you are only a few weeks old, your little heart is developing and in a few weeks I will be able to hear it beating. I hope to be the best mother to you and I think that I had a very good example to follow. She’s your Grandmom and she taught me all I need to know about being a mommy.

Now, I figure I should tell you how things are going so far. Pregnancy is not an easy thing. You’re just 6 weeks old and you’re already wearing me out! I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired. Finding out I was pregnant coincided with starting a new schedule at work going in at 6am. So it’s hard to tell how much of being tired is from waking up at oh-dark-thirty and how much is from being an incubator. You are also wreaking havoc on my digestive system. I don’t have morning sickness (as of yet) and I don’t have any food aversions (again, yet), but frequently after I eat I get tummy aches and feel terrible. It doesn’t seem to stop me from eating though. You seem to have a fondness for cinnamon as I started craving that a few days before I found out I was pregnant.

I can’t wait until I can hear your heartbeat and see you with my own eyes. I don’t feel pregnant for the most part so it will help so much to know for sure that you’re there. Your grandparents, aunts, and uncles don’t know yet so I also look forward to telling everyone. They have been waiting for you too, you see. You have 2 great-grandparents, 4 grandparents, 3 aunts, 2 uncles, and 2 cousins. I can’t wait to tell them about you.

Well, little one, we have 6 weeks down and 34 more to go! I will keep thanking God for you and praying for you to continue to grow and be safe. I can’t wait to see you!


Two Pink Lines

We have been trying to get pregnant for a few months now. We made the decision in the Spring that we would start trying after our cruise in May. So I had been tracking everything in preparation and when the time came I had completely unrealistic expectations about getting pregnant. My sister-in-law got pregnant the first try so I figured, hey, why not me. Well, needless to say, this did not work for me. So I cried. And cried and cried and cried. Now, to justify this some, please bear in mind that I suffer from depression and I had to go off my anti-depressants so was not completely in my right mind. So then the next month we tried again. And again, nothing. So I cried again. I don’t think I cried as long the second time so that was a step in the right direction. I was learning to cope! Some. I was having a hard time with the anxiety of it all and the waiting. I’m not good with waiting on a good day, much less a day when I’m overly anxious already about something and off my meds. And before anyone decides to be snarky and tell me I had no right to be upset after one month of trying because some people try for years yadda yadda yadda please remember everyone’s situation is different and everyone reacts differently to things. And if you don’t have something nice to say please hit the “home” button on your menu bar and take your negativity elsewhere.

**Sidebar: I’m sure you’re thinking, “Oh my – she’s crazy.” I am… but in a fun “speak in movie lines and laugh til you pee” sort of way. I just struggle with depression and anxiety issues. And I get tired of people self-righteously judging me without remotely knowing what I battle with on a regular basis much less during out of the ordinary situations. So pardon my defensivenes if you mean me no harm.**

Anyway. So the third month comes around and I think, “Haha! I will get an ovulation predictor so I can be positive! This will narrow things down!” This did not work out exactly as I had planned. Meaning, I never got an answer from those stupid things. From all my tracking, I knew that my cycle ran anywhere from 26-32 days. Which makes it hard to know anything; especially for knowing when I’m “late.” So when it didn’t come and didn’t come and still didn’t come, I tried not to get my hopes up but it was really really hard. I ended up breaking down and taking a pregnancy test. It was negative. It was about this time that I started crying. Randomly. A lot. I cried at work. I cried at home. I cried in the middle of a TV show that wasn’t sad or about babies. I took another test. Still negative. More crying. Then I tried to steel myself for the impending doom of finding out for sure I wasn’t pregnant. But nothing happened. Finally, on Monday, the 32nd day, when nothing still happened, I bought another box of tests. I’m surprised I didn’t pee on myself as I was so nervous. I made myself put it down and leave the room for the requisite 3 minutes (with one more thrown in for good measure) instead of staring at it intently. When I picked it up I noticed the line that is always there and a very very very faint second line. Could this be? Are there TWO lines? Two means pregnant. But the second one is so faint. It’s tricking me isn’t it. So what do I do? I do what everyone does! I ask the opinions of people I’ve never met! I get on my trusty app and ask the forum of pregnant and trying to be pregnant ladies what they think of super faint second lines. Very scientific. The consensus was that I was pregnant and should take another test the next day and the lines would be darker. I cried.