Pregnancy is…

Being able to pee on command at any given time, day or night.

Having an insane craving for something then taking a bite and finding it revolting.

The constant feeling you are in a sci-fi movie and an alien is going to burst out of your stomach any moment.


Being willing to sell your left kidney to get a good night’s sleep.

An ugly belly button.

A perfect reason to wear yoga pants for every situation as maternity pants are made by the Devil. *Please note I did not say leggings.*

Thunder thighs.

A constantly runny nose.

Your belly being deemed fair game for perfect strangers touch.

An invitation for anyone to give you unsolicited advice about your body parts and birth choices.

Not glamorous.

Not being able to tie your shoes.

Forgetting every lesson you ever learned about modesty.

Being unable to watch the Hallmark or Lifetime channels without crying at some point.

Having only 9 months to decide on a name that a person will have their entire life and hopefully not hate.

Alternately wanting the being taking over your body OUT IMMEDIATELY and wanting to stay pregnant because you’re not ready yet.

Weird. And amazing. And completely worth that tiny precious person you receive at the end.